Let me know what is “normal.” If you have stories of men who are not the average hooligan send me an email at email@example.com and I will share with others. Heavens knows we need to know about men who treat others with respect even when alcohol and music is involved. Happy New Year to all!
Monthly Archives: December 2009
Proud men are everywhere. Many will be seen stomping around like proud peacocks this evening hoping and praying that a woman or dare we say women will take to their feathery ways. This need to boast, to proclaim, to stand up as “property owners” on planet earth can be devastatingly pathetic to watch. Tonight men across the land will hope that what they have to “offer” will be good enough, desired, and celebrated by the other sex. The problem? Well you could say that it is just being young and a part of the human experience to prey after women in “socially” acceptable manners, but what about the cost to a gender and species in the long run? How many mistakes will be made tonight? How many children will be born from tonight’s tom-foolery? How much money will be posted to the tax payer’s bill from individuals who rely, chronically, on others for day-to-day management of their lives and the money required to subsidize those lives?
Those are the big picture questions when foolishness and anarchy are allowed if for but an 8 – 10 hour window. What about the costs to the younger generations that are peering up at all of us and wondering what on earth are we doing? Too often adults feel the need to “act out” because “I deserve to let off some steam…life has been stressful lately.” What happens, to a large degree, is that when we act out we risk the lives of those we most care about. Being an adult and understanding responsible behavior takes more than the threat of incarceration or death, but rather a change in the lenses with which we see life to truly understand the implications of our actions. Actions that impact those around us far more than ourselves.
I am troubled by the number of men who struggle to make sensible decisions and ones that all men and boys would be proud of. Just because our “heroes” make grave mistakes (see Tiger Woods as he cancels his cell phone plan with AT&T) does not give the rest of us free passage to “Sultry Island.” Young people may celebrate the athletic accomplishments of freakishly talented athletes, but role models are built on the consistent love and support and healthy boundary setting only a loved one can provide. Make good decisions men. Be Proud for the right reasons. And be a role model to the young &^*% two bar stools away….his children implore you!
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Here we go…this is it! The Dumb Man Rules does not imply that we can as a gender skate through life acting as though we are not culpable because we “don’t know” how to do something. I have used this trick myself with impressive results. Am I proud of myself? No! Avoiding responsibility for a chore, conversation, or criminal act seems to be the driving force behind the global perception that men are idiots. When are the Normal Males in our world going to stand up and say enough is enough? We all can communicate a heck of a lot better by asking questions if we are not sure, proposing an educated guess, or even think critically about what we are being asked.
Sometimes we utilize the Dumb Man Rules to avoid our girlfriends and wives from ever relying on us past trash collection. Sometimes we play dumb when we are scared of the answer because we might find that we do not have the answer or that we have done something wrong. And, sometimes we play dumb out of our own stupidity and when that occurs we are putting others lives at stake.
Take for example the story out of India that says men in India are using condoms that do not fit. Know one noticed? No one put two and two together that the birth rate is sky-high compared to regions not encompassing China and its’ neighbors? So now they are talking about educating men in India on the impact of a condom not fitting. Now we are not immune to such ridicule, but the sentiment is the same…we, as men, have played dumb for sooo long that the global community expects very little. You don’t believe me? Check out any commercial, sitcom, or cartoon and you will see a gender in dire need of a makeover.
Dr. Rod interviews author Robert Kegan about his book…Immunity to Change.
Welcome to the world of Normal Males. This blog and associated products are aimed to reclaim manhood from the hooligans slothing through popular media, our families, and the schools that educate our boys.
Males are not supposed to be dumb, ignorant, emotionally inept, sexual predators, poor communicators, cheaters, beasts, grunters, or self assured ego maniacs. What we are supposed to be, if we are allowed, is emotionally flexible, responsible, kind-hearted humans that do care about others and themselves. Too often when we turn on the tube or hulu we find men portrayed as fools who are barely able to tie their shoes let alone take care of others.
The Problem: There are so many men who disappoint the rest of us men when they actually subscribe to the media’s portrayal. While at the doctor’s office this morning I overheard a conversation between the female receptionists and it went a little something like this:
“So I called their father, who by the way didn’t have them all last week, and he of course had another lame excuse that he was sick and couldn’t be with the kids”
The other receptionist then added… “Hasn’t it been like a year since he paid child support?”
“Yup! The judge is back into this and I never know what to expect”
Sounds like a cliche but actually true conversation. This makes me made for all males. Now of course I am not going to assume all information as accurate BUT any man that cannot step up to the plate and care for his children are losers in my book!!!
As I checked out of the office I made sure to glance at the woman’s desk and sure enough there were multiple photos of her children. Boy and Girl. I sure hope that the little boy has alternative male role models that will teach him about responsibility and children so that one day he won’t be the same repeat offender his father is.
Share your comments and stories about men that you observe/know that fit the Dumb Man Profile so that we can call their behavior what it is….detrimental to all males and especially the boy’s who are watching.