Top 10 Reasons Women are the Best Role Models for Males


Is Jake the real Normal?

Too Perfect?

Too Wrong?

Really a man hater?

The Top 10 Reasons Women are actually the best role models for males of all ages! This statement comes on the heels of yesterday’s post about Dick Masterson.

In his Top 10 he postulates that wearing watches makes men different/better and so on. I am here to offer a rebuttal on behalf of all of the Normal Males who are tired of the Dick Mastersons of the world parading around as the poster for all men. To admit proficiency and success by women is not just an olive branch to say “hang in there with us cavemen,” but rather it is honoring skill sets that we need assistance in. Here we go:

10. Women demonstrate emotional intelligence.
Boys and men struggle mightily, yours included, to understand and use our emotions in a positive and productive manner. If we steer our attention away from the men in our lives, if we have them, and onto the positive women around us we might pick up some clues on how to read our impact on others in this world.

9. Women understand that we have fragile egos.
Because boys and men have not been taught to respect and acknowledge their feelings we develop very thin skins throughout life. Women understand this and are pretty adept at handling our egos. The challenge is when we don’t evolve our efforts women feel like they are our mothers and communication follows in motherly and perceived condescending tones.

8. Women show what true multi-tasking looks like.
Women are not the ones who have to sit on the couch and watch 12 replays of a meaningless Bowl Game. Women are not the ones who have to say, “Please don’t talk to me for at least 20 minutes when I get home from work.” Women demonstrate that they can emotionally multi-task for days on end and we play the “dumb man.” You know what I am talking about…i.e. …”if I show her that I can paint the garage then she will want me to paint all the rooms in the house…and I have football and ping pong and Olympic downhill to watch.” Women are not out to have us do “everything” guys. They are merely giving us opportunity after opportunity to demonstrate that we are committed to them and the relationship. Am I right ladies?

7. Women demonstrate the greatest in sacrifice and follow-through.
It is women not men that over and over demonstrate commitment and follow-through in regards to child care. Yes there are great fathers and providers out there, but the majority struggle with connecting and the detachment can cause a permanent crack in a parent-child relationship. I want others to prove me wrong on this point and if there are so many good fathers out there then why not stand up and be counted so that young boys have something to aspire to?

6. Women are not the ones who leave children parent-less.
This goes without saying and was touched on in number 5 above. Even young mothers understand that they have a responsibility to care for the one the bore. Young men play a polka and dart out as soon as their partner has a routine “down.” The role model is the one that understands that actions have consequences and subsequent responsibilities. Men like to fight for causes—this should be a cause that rivals our actions and commitments in the Middle East.

5. Women are often the greatest motivators, as spouses, to some of the most accomplished men.
As the adage goes, “Behind every great man is an even greater woman.” Have you ever stopped to think about that? We, men, need to patted on the back more than even most women know…in the bedroom and boardroom. So it should come as no surprise that most women want to support their man for as far as his dreams can reach. Can men say the same of their commitment to the women in their lives? I will leave the answers up to you?

4. Women are better at sharing what is bothering them.
Dick Masterson might say that sharing is for babies and is a waste of time, but how does he think our species expanded? Through the art of grunting? Or, through the art of story telling and language development and refinement? The next time you or the man in your life, for the women reading this, clams up when asked how they are feeling do not miss an opportunity to share what is truly going on. Is it an art form that requires practice? Yes! Is it something that men have the aptitude for? Absolutely! I implore those women who work with young boys to take this to heart—please continue to ask questions even when you get an “I’m fine” response. Don’t badger, but rather be inquisitive and supportive and learn about what is important to these boys. If you don’t who will? These same boys go home to men who tell them to suck it up and/or take it out on the punching bag out back.

3. Women demonstrate poise when we “screw” up and continue to love us.
When a man witnesses a female in his life screw up he can often be found giving an “I told you so” speech that goes on and on because he doesn’t feel heard. Is this the message we want boys and young men to get? No. Having discussions with young men about poise and understanding others circumstances will only expand his own understanding of himself and those around him. Thank you ladies for being patient with us.

2. Women pay attention to the details of a relationship.
Now I would like to say that I am “different” and take pride in this area, but that would only be for my ego. Ok, I am pretty good, but women on the whole are very good at this area and males of all ages should take note. It is not unlike a boy who appreciates it when others remember the “play from Friday night’s game when you scored the touchdown.” It feels good when we know others are thinking of us even when we are not around. Men, I hate to say it, have short attention spans. If we could learn to take notice of even the smallest things we might see the same done for us and we all know we need our egos massaged…right Tiger?

1. Women will, in fact, admit their wrongs when approached in a humane and insightful manner.
And the winner is admitting fault when we are wrong! Why? Well if you think about it this exchange, if not done properly, can be the precursor to many arguments and bitterness if left out like last months eggnog. Our egos are so fragile that if we admit wrong doing we run the risk of shame entering into our landscape. I speak about this all the time in my I.S.S. Boys presentations (In School Suspension) for schools and students. Shame is akin to kryptonite and every boy and man wants to be Superman–I’m just saying…there goes my cat gnawing at my cape again as I finish this post. Men are often the worst role models of appropriate concessions and only perpetuate the stereotype that we have “short fuses.” I know there are jokes out there about fuses…that deserves an entire publication to discuss. Admitting we are wrong does not or does not have to induce shame, rather it allows us to have a conversation about our intentions and the potential impact of those actions on the ones around us.

And so whether or not you are unsure of your position on the spectrum of manliness know this; From the new Bachelor Jake Pavelka to Tiger Woods to Dick Masterson our middle and Normal can be found in the men who understand the value women bring to our lives and the lessons they have provided us. Thoughts? Challenges? Email me at drrod@thenormalmale.com

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7 Comments

Filed under Boys, Dumb Men, Education, Family, Fathers, Good Men, Males, Marriage, men, Mothers, Relationships, Success Stories

7 responses to “Top 10 Reasons Women are the Best Role Models for Males

  1. You know, I rarely agree with arguments that say one sex has an advantage over another. But come to think of it, my mother is one of my best role models. When I was a child she was an amazing business woman (still is) and worked in the very male oriented business (aren’t they all?) of sports. She ran an indoor soccer facility and managed a lot of men who resented her as their boss. She eventually ended up an Athletic Director for a private high school and turned the entire sports program upside down from a failure to a success.

    So maybe there is something to that theory of women being good role models. But I will never understand why people say women are better multi-taskers. Where did that myth get started?

    Great post.

    Nate Smith
    improvisingfatherhood.com

    • Hi Nate!
      Thanks for your comments and I appreciate the compliment! I am not sure where the “myth” of multi-tasking came from, but I would suspect “brain guys” in the research world would have a few ideas.

      My contention is that males have abilities that have not been unearthed yet because even men believe we are like those we see in the media… which = low expectations from those around us.

      We don’t have to “act” like women we just have to redefine where our gender is going in the future. Using the “dumb man” excuse is old and tired. I have used it before and later wondered what was the point. Males are so used to not expecting much from others that we expect very little from ourselves.
      Thanks Again! Google Reader will help me keep up with your posts so we can continue “debate” by the way I am thenormalmale on twitter

      • Haha…that’s funny. I actually have a comedy routine about pretending to be dumb to get out of doing stuff. I specifically remember when I was a kid and I decided I’d rather appear dumb than smart so people would expect less from me. Only, in my case, I felt like it was the opposite of someone who is always trying to show how smart they are.

        I also do this with “strength.” I never show off or attempt to appear strong or in charge or anything “macho” like that. Inside I know that I can handle my own in most situations, but you’ll never hear me say it (except for in blog comment sections apparently). I don’t “front.”

        Anyway, that’s my two cents.

  2. Pingback: To Be or Not to Be a Feminist « The Normal Male by Dr. Rod

  3. Hi Dr. Rod,

    I thoroughly look forward to being a regular reader as I attempt the momentous task of understanding my own Male. =)

    First of all, a hearty agreement on this statement:
    “If women are so far below men then I would like to know why it is that our social fabric has only been eroding away since children began seeing less and less of their mothers who are working today? ”

    Second of all, if I remember correctly from our marriage counseling, women and men’s brains are physically different from one another, aren’t they? And these differences affect our ability to/method of reason(ing) and think(ing). And most men struggle to a great degree to be able to change a diaper, for instance, while also talking on the phone, keeping an eye on the 5 year old pouring a glass of milk, and an ear for the timer on the oven to go off, while also keeping in mind that “the baby is about ready to be nursed again and the diapers need to go in the dryer,and what in the WORLD are we having for supper?”… for instance.
    My husband, and most other males that I know, seem to be able to only focus on one task. They are literally one track minded. Can you guys help it?

    • Thank you so much for your words! I greatly appreciate your acknowledgment of my statement pertaining to today’s social fabric…I really hoped that it made good sense when I was writing it. So much of the discussion circles around the “missing” men, but we need to take a serious look at the amount of work on any given woman’s plate. Normal Males are needed to participate in this conversation so that those males in the media aren’t the ones speaking for an entire gender. Our kids and the women in our lives deserve good and Normal men.
      Dr. Rod

  4. Pingback: He’s Killing Our Marriage-Part 1 « The Normal Male by Dr. Rod

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