Category Archives: Males

How to Help Your Man When He is Depressed

Sometimes our greatest fears are realized. Sometimes that pit in our stomach actually means a great deal. Yes, we are men. Yes, we can be and are often strong, but many times we are one degree from emotional combustion.

Normal men struggle with confidence more often they will ever let on. We, men, wonder what you wonder about us. We burn out, feel left out, and sometimes when we are vulnerable we lash out. These are things we are not proud of nor do we want to be sponsors of for the next generation.

Men become depressed at rates that are still unknown and baffling to the health care community and the providers educated to treat them. Thankfully, there is a growing movement to better understand male depression, its origin, and proper methods for therapeutic inclusion and treatment. Too often men and their families are unaware of the signs and symptoms of depression. Men shrug off their blue feelings as just another struggle they have to endure alone. They struggle to access the health care community and at best only talk to their primary care physician who either dispels such “nonsense” or over prescribes outdated and temporary solutions. 

I will admit that I am quite tired of the temporary solution-based approach that America has taken with just about every social problem. Makes me wish I owned stock in Band-Aids. The issue of male depression reaches far and wide impacting millions of men and their families.

The solution(s) will not be fast acting, maximum strength, over-the-counter goodies. The solutions will have to start at home. They will have to be identified and approached by the very person who has seen this man at his best and worst.

The signs are there even if communication about them is a bit archaic. We are and have been in a funk, as a country, for a good long while. Many men and women have lost their jobs, homes, and self respect. That’s right self respect…meaning that too many folks have not responded to their adverse situation in the manner they thought they would. They, like the peanut in this ad, are wondering why they can’t get up off the curb and start anew.

And, it is during these times when men need their partners the most. This undoubtedly puts women in a very difficult position because the language used, verbally and non-verbally, greatly impacts the man early on. When tragic news hits or you see a series of little defeats mounting for your man you have to treat him in the first 72 hours. This is, of course, not an official number but it gets the point across that to be effective in helping your partner you need to move swiftly and deftly in the early hours.

Are You Ready to Respond?

Think of it like a legal defense. We have all seen “Law & Order” or the new smash hit which I love “The Good Wife.” We watch as the lawyers and officers strategically plan the response and subsequent actions…all of which have to be done early on if they are to get ahead of the charge etc.

So, in that vein let us look at some things to look out for when you think your husband/man is depressed:

  1. First and foremost know how YOU typically respond to him when he is down.
  2. Prepare yourself for statements that are nonsensical and reactionary because he too knows your typical response style.
  3. Think about how YOU would feel given his stressors and situation.
  4. Take YOURSELF out of the discussion–this is not the time to talk about your needs/wants.
  5. Use physical touch to caress and reassure him–difficult because you may feel inclined to “mother” him.
  6. Remember that, like you, he may not want solutions early on.
  7. Let him know that you love him, believe in him, and will stand by him.
  8. Do NOT say, “Life isn’t easy” or “You’ll find something” or “That’s just the way life is.” Statements like these minimize his current fears and distance you from the solution. The message you are sending is…”I will wait till you figure it out alone and in the meantime buck up, you’re a man.”
  9. Stay connected and engaged. Do not fall the way of so many women who yield to giving him “space.” Men may say they want that, but only for a short time and most often because it is safer. They do not trust their feelings with you.
  10. And last but certainly not least…continue to love and support him…encourage him when his spirits are increasing and support him if and when mental health intervention is needed.

It takes a team effort to assist anyone who is down on their luck. Knocking them down even further because they are vulnerable sounds horrific, but practiced more than your neighbors would admit.

You can be your own best friend if you approach your man in thoughtful ways. These are tough times for everyone not named Palin, Jordan, Lebron, Gosselin, or Steve Jobs…let us all use a little compassion as we support the ones we love.

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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Filed under Fathers, finances, Good Men, head of household, Males, Marriage, men, Relationships, sex, women, Work

Competing Sexes

Looking to Beat the Next Guy?

HBO has done it again! They have secretly become a documentary juggernaut. Their latest prize pits NBA Hall of Famers Larry Bird and Magic Johnson in an epic depiction of two men possessed with competition. You don’t have to be a sports fan to appreciate the layers these two icons peeled back during their reign…racism, big versus small town, East coast-West coast, and dollar for dollar they delivered.

I will admit, as a sports fan, that my competitive juices were flowin even if from the couch flanked by my two cats and a lukewarm cup o’ joe.

I suddenly thought about my youth and how my seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years were staked out by competitive outlets. I had a sport for every season, a grade or project every term, a girl I wanted to look buff for, and distant educational and career goals to tide me over. Life was competitive ALL the time!

Now…well it seems that for many of us competition is relagated to survival…not for mere advantage or gamesmanship, but for our financial security and lifestyle. Where did it all go? Is this Normal? Is it Abnormal? Am I losing a step?

I mean I can turn on the tube and see competition for viewership and marketshare. Shoot, I can even read about competition between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, Democrats and Republicans, Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer, Oprah vs. The World, Mac vs. Windows, and last but certainly not least Conan vs. Jay. Competition is right at our fingertips…and as I painstakingly reach for it I can’t help but wonder what we would all be without competition?

Looking for Your Competitive Advantage in Life?

Would we be lost? Would we be a species that never got out of the Stone Age? Competition has a place…we need to feed our species, advance our species, and procreate our species…and competition remains the single most important ingredient. It inspires us during times wrought with disallusionment and pain. Competition helps us gauge our progress, modify our approach, and reach for new heights. And, for each gender competition can be deeply personal…

Males are given the edict that to compete is to demonstrate your prowess amongst all in your path from dusk to dawn. Some have deemed this male character the Alpha Male….the Silverback. So, as men age they look for arenas to compete in, to win…and many do so with very little regard for their opponents.We have all read of the hostile takeovers, the businesses now running lean and most have a man at the helm. Most of us have been personally impacted by the corporate competition…I mean greed…

Females, on the other hand, have been wronged for centuries. Females have been given the message that the competitive landscape is for men only…thus relegating women to compete for these men. Let’s not forget that, though, times have changed significantly, the overwhelming message has been for women to compete in non-threatening areas and for menial purposes.

You see it has been the great spoof our species…men convincing women that their pursuits were more important to the greater good…that women had a place…just over there on the sidelines.

For many, these deficient approaches are not borne from intention or malice, but rather from generations trying to survive the way they knew how. It really is hard to pass definitive judgment when we, as a country, are continuing to breed competitive destruction…we have just found new and different ways to mask our approaches and intentions.

Feeling Competitive?

We all have a burning desire to stay on top, to pursue the unattainable…it is the American way. Just look at the current landscape…looking even closer at our educational system. We now have “Race to the Top” from the federal government, we have schools and districts that pay students for attendance and top grades…and why? Because competition, today, isn’t about aspirations or dreams…competition is about the almighty dollar. Adults are wooing kids for higher test scores, ratings, and marketshare. It is as if they are saying…“Here kitty kitty….here kitty kitty.”

All the while, children who are only concerned with competing in gym class are actually playing lead roles in the high-stakes game of adult competition. In fact, it is the children who hold the magic ticket and not the adults. Failing tests grades, reduced product usage, and even fewer website hits put us and our American dollar at risk.

It truly is sad that competition, while fantastic as a sport and motivator in times of despair, brings out the animal in all of us. We were once young people competing for a cause, for a purpose, for the betterment of generations past and present. Somewhere along the path to adulthood we lost our way, sold out to the highest bidder and forgot what makes this country so grand….The hope and belief that with a little elbow grease and commitment we can win at the game of life…together.

Let us all think about the role competition plays in our lives, the impact on those around us, and the messages we are downloading to the up-and-coming generation of children.

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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Filed under Boys, finances, Girls, head of household, Males, men, Mothers, sex, Sports, Success Stories, women, Work

Man-Up or Stand Up? The American Boy is in Trouble

Who Needs Lifting? Men or Boys?

I am a staunch supporter of males and the females in their lives. I believe that we can do better, as a gender, but must step up and be accounted for. Some of you who read this might wonder if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or took my politically correct vitamins in excess. Some passerby’s might wonder if I live in the basement of my mother’s home and spew comments in a an environment where anonymity is a given and gravatars act as i.d. badges.

Though this image might bring you joy it just isn’t true. I am a Normal, insecure, bold when I need to be, confident in waves, man who loves ESPN, the arts and yard work on any-ole-day U.S.A. And, yes sometimes I find it necessary to shed light on a social practice that isn’t helping males in their pursuit to be Normal…in an effort to reach personal greatness…and life satisfaction.

As a part of an online community, The Art of Manliness, I am often challenged to think, laugh, and cry at the experience of being male. The members are thoughtful and thought provoking which I applaud with all sincerity. Yesterday was a perfect example wrapped into a single thread. A member asked a question…he wanted to know how to Man-Up a 13 year old that he knew. He described this young boy as soft, squishy, an unmotivated sissy, and lazy. I, of course, commented and to his credit the author said he didn’t know of any other word to use other than Man-Up.

The Art of Manliness

I was also given a review on the term and its usage on the site which said:

“Within the context of this site (AoM), “manning up” simply refers to “growing up” and coming to grips with yourself as a man. It’s not so much about toughening up as it is about maturing beyond boyhood.” -Jamie

To Man Up? The Urban Dictionary actually has 25 definitions and there is an organization, by the same name, that strives to end violence against women. Many of us have seen the phrase in reference to sexual enhancement and performance. We have seen it used at Little League games to dissuade emotions associated with females from being aired. Many of us have heard the phrase as a call to action; a rising up from self-induced-pity to a place of formidable stature and strength.

The American Way?

And, we have to wonder what is the impact on a generation of young boys without fathers, without male role models in schools, without heroes on the athletic field, governed by a society and educational system determined to squeeze the boy out of them, reprimanded when they become addicted to video games as a result, and told that success only comes to those who can effectively repress feelings and push on in the name of the American spirit.

I say with great confidence and sadness that our young boys are at a crossroads. Our boys are flailing in the wind with no direction, purpose, or sense of self.

Late yesterday afternoon as I was in the backyard I heard three young men talking and making a bit of noise. When I looked over to my neighbors house I noticed these three young men (approximately 18-21) crawling through an upstairs window. The house, you see, is in the midst of renovations and the owners are looking to rent the top unit out. I stopped them, at least the one young man who looked nervous, and asked them if they were with the work crew and found out they wanted a “peek inside.” Let’s just say they got my drift and headed out of my urban neighborhood.

You might say to yourself that this was a harmless act, but I am concerned at the lack of judgment. It concerns me that these young men were so apathetic to getting caught. I very easily could have called the cops and I would imagine a charge of breaking and entering could have been established. To them…nothing. They drove away quietly without verbal exchange.

Before we can ask young boys to Man-Up, we first need to establish what they are actually Manning-Up too. We need to provide a playground and environment that let’s them explore with guidance, tussle safely in the name of bonding, and believe what they feel inside. Just because we have generations of men, mine included, that were cast aside from the rational side of life doesn’t mean that we have to send them down the river as well.

If we, adult men, want a seat at the proverbial table of life then we have to set the example…together. We have to communicate our disgust for the medical system that limits access and respect during pregnancy. We have to communicate our needs with our medical and psychological doctors. We need to role model the great dualities of manhood…that we can grunt to our friends one minute, compose poetic stories the next, protect our children, cry with our children, love our spouse and most importantly ourselves all at a moments notice.

Apathy for ourselves is one thing…apathy for the next generation—shameful. Think about the language you use and the story it supports or erodes…young boys are waiting for us to Step Up…in the process we might just figure out what it actually means to Man-Up.

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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Filed under Boys, Dumb Men, Family, Fathers, Girls, Good Men, head of household, Males, men, Mothers, sex, Sports, women

Dear Dr. Rod from Confused in California

Too Many Differences?

It is often said that opposites attract in the game of love. Others, who don’t side with Paula Abdul’s hit song from the early 90’s, believe that a perfect love connection derives from identical hobbies, morals, and values. I recently received a letter from a reader asking for advice on this very topic. Below you will find her question and my response. If you have a question you would like answered just send them to drrod@thenormalmale.com.

Confused in California:

“Hi Dr. Rod- First of all, let me tell you how much I have been enjoying your blog!  I’m a single woman in my early thirties and I recently started dating someone who is the polar opposite of me concerning religion and politics.  However, he is a kind person, treats me very well and we have an amazing time when we are together.  I am worried that our differences of opinion may cause issues down the line.  My previous relationship was very abusive, so while I appreciate being treated well this time around,  I know that shared values are important to me.  What should I do?”

-Confused in California

Dr. Rod:
Dear Confused in California,
I applaud your efforts to address these issues early on in courtship. Too often we rush to ride the roller-coaster without thinking about lunch afterwards. We fall victim to lust, novelty, and the chance to be and act like someone new and different. You are not alone in your dilemma. So many of us compare and contrast suitors to those from our past, our family’s wishes, and our social and work environments. Not only do we wonder if we can handle the difference(s), but we also wonder if those around us can.

To establish a firm foundation in love requires us to ask very personal questions of ourselves. Why this person? Why now? Will it work? What can I contribute to ensure long term success with this person? What personal patterns do I need to be aware of? What do I need at the present moment and what can I give?

Your ability to answer these questions will allow for appropriate reflection into the positive and negative patterns you have enlisted in previous relationships. Maybe through your discovery process you find that this man represents others from the past that were also desirable during similar life phases. Maybe he represents a challenge. Maybe he stirs your need for active and engaging conversation.

He may or may not represent any or all of these elements. Your truth will come from communicating your wants and needs, your deal breakers, and areas for consideration. For some, religion and politics represent the most crucial elements in determining relationship viability. The challenge becomes when or when not to address these differences. Do you address them now for sake of prudent responsibility or do you wait? Do you wait to see the level of religious/political practice and commitment? Remember that hoping for change is just that…hoping. You do not want to find yourself loathing the very idiosyncrasies you once found adorable.

Ask yourself this…Are you looking for comfortable? Can you respect others opinions without fear that yours will not be heard and/or counted? If you can say yes, then maybe it is worth pursuing. But, if you find yourself chalking the field with fears based on his viewpoints then all your doing is setting yourself up for a familiar outcome.

I will close with this…

“Who are you protecting if you leave now?”

And…

“What are you in fear of?”

Answer those honestly and you will have a better read on your life, as it currently stands, and the direction you want to take on your personal journey. You may find that your confusion lies within yourself and not with this gentleman.

Best Wishes!
Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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This reply should not replace therapeutic consult by a local professional and is intended for entertainment purposes.

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Jake Pavelka…Just Followin His Heart

Jake and His Special Lady

Well, he did it! Jake Pavelka made his decision. He went out on a limb and chose Vienna Girardi over Tenley Molzahn. Of course life will go on, birds will sing, and our politicians will still be arguing over health care reform as they go in for their annual prostate exam.

Life will get back to Normal. But…I would be cheating the both of us if I didn’t take the time to recap “…the most DRAMATIC season yet!” (Host Chris Harrison’s voice)…And, why shouldn’t we? You and I know that you watched it. You were glued to the drama, the intrigue, and probably even had your favorite “horse” in the race. Mine lost. I will admit it. I thought Jake would choose Tenley. He didn’t and now I wait in purgatory…waiting for another rendition of roses and champagne. Which brings me to the small, but irritating rash Jake gave me that just won’t subside no matter how much cage wrestling I watch to cleanse myself of the romantic hit show—which is this notion that he was just following his heart.

Come Back My Heart! Come Back!

I am not sure if you noticed, but Mr. Pavelka made it his mission to tell the world that what he was really doing all season was chasing after and following his heart to its desire. So much ABC saturation has given me an image of Jake chasing after his heart like it was a little gopher on a golf course. You know the character—the little #$%# that pops up for just a second and then burrows far beneath our reach…snickering along the way.

Put Your Champagne Flute Down Jake...NOW!

Jake said it so often that I really wondered who was making the final decision? Was it his family? Was it his friends? Was it his flight crew or was it even Chris Harrison (Host of The Bachelor)? It couldn’t actually be this elusive organ running around Malibu…Could it?

I even found myself digging through old nursery rhymes like “Where O Where Has My Little Dog Gone?” I just couldn’t understand the lack of personal choice with such a significant decision to be made. I actually think Jake is fooling all of us. I think that he actually thought of this strategy to avoid persecution from the viewers and the 24 spurned lovers. Think about it–you can’t blame Jake for not picking you…you must blame his rogue heart. Brilliant! Brilliant!…as a couple of Guinness guzzling gents might say! Brilliant!

All joking aside…the show captures all of us because of the fundamental question it tries to answer–How do we all find and select a mate? What is the secret? Is there true happiness? Let’s face it–there were more people watching The Bachelor who are in lukewarm relationships and marriages than those in passionate, supportive, team oriented ones. “Just the facts mam…just the facts.”

This is precisely why the show is casting the next two seasons with Allie already booked to be the next Bachelorette. People want to see others struggle with the love game…while others want to see what romance under the lights looks like. Some of us wonder how we would fare on the show and some of us scoff at the notion that love can be found on a dating carousel.

For the Love of the Game...

According to Jake he found it. I just hope that he can control his heart when Vienna isn’t lathering him up in a sulfur pool with mud from the Gods. When she is Normal and not waiting for him at every terminal will that little weasel of a heart race off to another port of call. Here’s to Jake and Vienna—I wish you all the best with your relationship, Jake’s gopher-heart, and your golf game. You just never know when you’ll shank your tee shot off the 18th tee.

Best of Luck!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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The Teenage Rulebook For Cool-ness

Boy Are We Cool!

Ah…to be a teenager. To stroll the hallways of “anywhere” high school U.S.A. is a right of passage for so many youth dying to fit in with their peers. This weekend I was out doing what adults do….running errands of course…when I noticed something that took me back to my high school days.

Let’s set the stage…a lovely Saturday afternoon, the temperature around 40 degrees and sharing the highway with me were two teenage boys, aviator glasses in-toe, and not a care in the world. What caught my attention was that these young men were driving with the top down in daddy’s car. You or I would think this behavior weird or idiotic, but I would argue that these boys were out for a bit of adventure…

To see these young men and wonder how cold they must have been on the outside made me wonder about what was going on inside. What was it that possessed these, Normal looking, teenage boys to drive around in a manner more suited for chili and a sweater? Were they trying to connect with their inner Tom Cruise? Maybe they were on a mission or maybe 40 degrees was the perfect temperature to market themselves to other teenagers…namely—GIRLS!

Hi Ladies

What would teenage girls be thinking? Dumb boys? Cool? All I know is this…young men will do just about anything to woo the girl(s) in their path. Teenage boys of today will even change their scent in ways previously thought of as feminine.

CBS Sunday Morning demonstrated this point with a story about the obsession boys have with body spray products. You know the ones…Axe Body Spray and its claim that by using it girls will fall at the feet of the user. There was a day and a time in this country when all young men smelled like were dirty socks and “cool.” Musty was the odor of choice because it communicated a rugged individualism…now we have young men spraying themselves down in a car-wash of fermones and watching “High School Musical 12”.

The goal of course is to win over the young women and to “beat out” the competition. Now…it is fair to say that Maverick and Goose on I-65 this weekend were of the mindset that cool comes in pairs…and they might be right…but the decision ultimately lies in the hands of the young women who are grading and judging every move. I mean teenage boys aren’t concerned with a young ladies father…are they?

I mean…are young men even worried these days about impressing someone, anyone other than the young lady herself? And…what would a father and young man even talk about? Cologne? The merits of High School Musical versus Grease? Or what about the latest and greatest video games or tech gadget?

Let’s face it—there may be some teenage wooing rituals and traditions that are facing extinction! At least in the ole days a father and young suitor could talk about plans for college or work or how his father was doing. They could talk about Ford or GM or spring training. But, how many fathers want to hear about a young mans desire to build a personal brand utilizing the most appropriate SEO/CRM/Social Media outlet or embedded videos?

The answer…not many! And because of the ever-growing distance between men of yesterday and boys of today the only common denominator…sad to say…is sex. There—I said it. That is right. Even our fathers thought of sex and maybe even some of them experienced sex. Now, it is important to note that this is not a commentary on teenage sex and the stance we should take. This is just an honest thought about what everyone thinks about.

Sex during high school, to the young people themselves, is often a measure of “cool.” It is the culmination of 40 degree jaunts down the highway in a convertible, the hours spent dousing fermones out of a can, and the countless time spent trying to find a bicep or two in the high school locker room. Young boys are just like those distant relatives in the jungles of our planet—always posturing for stature in the eyes of the females and to instill fear in the eyes of the competition.

Can You Smell Me Yet?

The challenge for all teenagers becomes their ability to be and play smart. To make decisions that won’t shape the rest of their lives negatively and ones that they can be proud of when they are older are all a part of the teenage experience.

Sadly, so too is teenage pregnancy. So too is the song and dance between hormones and common sense—between conversation and sexual intimacy and the real-world consequences of teenage rituals and traditions.

Which brings us back to the rulebook for teenagers and courting or wooing behavior. It brings us full circle to understanding all that our children are doing and the actual motivation behind the behavior. Are you aware of it as a parent? Do you sweep it away because you did the very same things or do you overcompensate in an effort to prevent ill-fated mistakes from YOUR past?

The rulebook is pretty simple. It has a front cover, one page of text, and a back cover. The front of the book titles your intentions for your child; the body of text outlines your honest expectations and support measures you will provide; the back cover a friendly reminder that you suffered through the same issues as they and that you are not above them…but beside them as they traverse the sometimes beautiful and often sketchy landscape that is being a teenager.

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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Ladies…is YOUR Man A Closet “Metro?”

Just the other day I was sent a request from a reader who thought I should write about Metrosexuals. Scientific or not… defining what is or is not a Metrosexual…now that is a project I would like to take on….so let’s begin…

There have been many a theory as to the origins of Metrosexuals. Some think that “Metros” are just stylish visitors from a far off planet while others think that Joe Namath and his pitch for pantyhose sprung the “fad” into action. There are some that think the U.S. was invaded again by the Brits and David Beckham and some have no idea…they just want all “Metros” to “go away” as they tantrum back to their man-caves.

Trust me…from a guy who has lived in Detroit, Chicago, L.A. and now Nashville the very concept of “Metro” is a bit bewildering and primarily due to the stereotypes of each locale.

In the South…you might be a “Metro” if you use product in your hair, brush your teeth twice a day, and have thrown out your plaid flannels from 1997. The bar is pretty low in the land of honky-tonk and okra. To be a “Metro” is associated more with sexuality than hygiene or appreciation for the art of conversation. Evolution moves a tad slower in this region and the growth of males is no exception.

We All Have Our Limits Joe

Up North…or should I say the Mid-West—well it isn’t a whole lot different. The typical guy might shop at Eddie Bauer, but that might be pushing it. Manhood can still be found to be judged on horsepower rather than overall style and health.

...For the 21st Century Man

The Northeast…now this is a region more like the West coast. Metrosexuals are trendy, they are considered the true evolution of man. Style is in. Hair product and “outfits” a must. Appreciation for healthy habits in vogue…and enjoying the arts with your wife/girlfriend a requirement for card-carrying status.

The West coast…well what else is there to say? It’s Hollywood man! It is the land of perfect bodies and teeth, health food stores on every corner, and women who openly desire a man who is fashion-forward and has a sense for fine cuisine. I am not sure if the birth of the “Metro” came from L.A., but it sure can credit its continued refinement to it….calm down New York…you dress us all up and you know it.

Calm Down Ladies...Calm Down...

What do you think? How do you define a Metro? Is he hiding out in your home? What are the benefits? What are the costs? My fiance has joked that she is so happy to be marrying a “Metro” because I take part in the wedding planning from all angles.

So…is it exclusively judged on a man’s level of participation in stereotypically female activities? Does it mean that “Metros” dislike guy movies, getting dirty, playing football in the park, or having a cigar with the guys?

Absolutely not! Those that think that “Metros” are less manly are missing the boat and are probably stuck in an era infamous for keeping women and African Americans down and out in society. Can anyone say…Archie Bunker? And, let’s face it…with all of the negative stereotypes surrounding males (beer belly, beer guzzling, grunting, thoughtless, art-less, and chauvinistic…to name a few) it is a wonder that some men have taken heed and responded with an updated version of the gender.

"You Mean I Can't Watch South Park?"

So with that said let’s channel a bit of Mr. Foxworthy and begin the conversation that might determine whether or not your boyfriend or husband is actually a closet “Metro”….

  • You might be a “Metro” if your first association with Jack Black is a skincare line and not the actor…
  • You might be a “Metro” if know that Sephora is a cosmetic store and not a place on the map…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you comment on newscasters ties or pinstriped suits…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you wash your hands and face after mowing the lawn instead of grabbing a brewski…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you think all mirrors have a date with your face on it…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you know how to match your shoes and belt with your clothes…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you worry about back, ear, and nose hair…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you count calories…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you plan your outfits ahead of time…
  • You might be a “Metro” if you know the difference between HGTV and the Versus Network…

Now you might say that this is all fun and games, but it truly is a battle…one fought in the trenches of our living rooms. Some might even say that political lines are being drawn. Trust me now…no tried-and-true Democrat wants to bring Cheney on as a spokesman for “Metros” and Republicans, especially in the South, have no interest in an “evolution” that their “daddy” and his “daddy’s daddy” wouldn’t partake in. I’m just sayin…

I mean look at this advertisement… “only manly men like my daddy know what to drink and how to act.” How ridiculous…you’re telling me that the guy in the sunglasses didn’t pick that “stylish” hat because it matched his shirt…come on fellas…

If anything…the mere concept of Metrosexuality provides a forum to actually discuss what it truly means to be a man. I think we can all agree that being a man encompasses elements of both Jack Blacks and to say otherwise only retards are overall growth as a gender. Trust me when I say that “Metro” men are just that MEN.

Metros enjoy watching the Bourne Trilogy, hanging out with friends, the thrill of competition, and seeing the smile on your face when we have made you happy. Males of all ages need to settle in and get comfy…Normal Males are not going down without a fight. We want young men and boys, and the females that care for them, to know that being a man encompasses far more than the televised imbeciles we see on T.V. and in the movies.

Now where is that darn mirror and who stole my facial cleanser?

It's Mine Dr. Rod....All Mine....

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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