Category Archives: religion

Why Health Care Reform Represents our Downfall

We aren’t bad are we? We don’t have a core wrought with evil or vengeance…do we? You and I have been listening to stories of infidelity (Jesse James/Tiger Woods), audacities of the Highest order (Catholic Church), and vitriol spewed from men and women who are supposed to represent us and our interests (Health Care Debate). I watched in disgust as a man with Parkinsons Disease was belittled for all to see because he supports President Obama and the health care bill. 

Are we all strung out on life? Have we been beaten down by so many that we have lost our way? What are our real or true complaints? Do we have any? Sure we do. But…no matter how upset we are, should we really be tearing down others for our own gain?

Common sense says we should not. But common we are not…and sense is running low these days. It baffles the mind how we are, collectively, getting by. All of our costs are escalating…services and products are declining in quality…the nuclear family has gone up in smoke like its’ name…

Normal? Abnormal? That is for you to decide. That is for you to evaluate…and you alone. Personally, I am sad that we are becoming a wishy-washy people and country. When our party is in power we know it all…when we are not, we do all in our power to extinguish the other. We rejoice the downfall of our celebrities and casual hero. We say, “better him than me” when a colleague loses their job.

Are You Living a "Life" You Can Be Proud Of?

Either patriotism has given way to narcissism or something even graver has settled in our living rooms.

Apathy…

Apathy for all that is good, that matters, and that rejuvenates our souls on a daily basis. The Discovery Channel‘s new documentary entitled “Life” shows in great splendor the core drive for survival. Sometimes I wish we could all watch our actions in slow-motion. Maybe we, too, would see the ills of our ways and treat one another with kindness and concern.

Do You Care?

Living a Normal life and being the Normal You requires a rich participation in the wonders of the world. Making a difference for others and thinking before we tear down. Something tells me that the very men who despicably undercut one mans’ spirit have experienced the kindness of others when it wasn’t asked for themselves. Do we really want to be known as the home of the free when we can’t even call ourselves brave?

Expect more from those around you….Demand more of yourself.

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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Filed under Dumb Men, Family, men, religion, sex, women

Dear Dr. Rod from Confused in California

Too Many Differences?

It is often said that opposites attract in the game of love. Others, who don’t side with Paula Abdul’s hit song from the early 90’s, believe that a perfect love connection derives from identical hobbies, morals, and values. I recently received a letter from a reader asking for advice on this very topic. Below you will find her question and my response. If you have a question you would like answered just send them to drrod@thenormalmale.com.

Confused in California:

“Hi Dr. Rod- First of all, let me tell you how much I have been enjoying your blog!  I’m a single woman in my early thirties and I recently started dating someone who is the polar opposite of me concerning religion and politics.  However, he is a kind person, treats me very well and we have an amazing time when we are together.  I am worried that our differences of opinion may cause issues down the line.  My previous relationship was very abusive, so while I appreciate being treated well this time around,  I know that shared values are important to me.  What should I do?”

-Confused in California

Dr. Rod:
Dear Confused in California,
I applaud your efforts to address these issues early on in courtship. Too often we rush to ride the roller-coaster without thinking about lunch afterwards. We fall victim to lust, novelty, and the chance to be and act like someone new and different. You are not alone in your dilemma. So many of us compare and contrast suitors to those from our past, our family’s wishes, and our social and work environments. Not only do we wonder if we can handle the difference(s), but we also wonder if those around us can.

To establish a firm foundation in love requires us to ask very personal questions of ourselves. Why this person? Why now? Will it work? What can I contribute to ensure long term success with this person? What personal patterns do I need to be aware of? What do I need at the present moment and what can I give?

Your ability to answer these questions will allow for appropriate reflection into the positive and negative patterns you have enlisted in previous relationships. Maybe through your discovery process you find that this man represents others from the past that were also desirable during similar life phases. Maybe he represents a challenge. Maybe he stirs your need for active and engaging conversation.

He may or may not represent any or all of these elements. Your truth will come from communicating your wants and needs, your deal breakers, and areas for consideration. For some, religion and politics represent the most crucial elements in determining relationship viability. The challenge becomes when or when not to address these differences. Do you address them now for sake of prudent responsibility or do you wait? Do you wait to see the level of religious/political practice and commitment? Remember that hoping for change is just that…hoping. You do not want to find yourself loathing the very idiosyncrasies you once found adorable.

Ask yourself this…Are you looking for comfortable? Can you respect others opinions without fear that yours will not be heard and/or counted? If you can say yes, then maybe it is worth pursuing. But, if you find yourself chalking the field with fears based on his viewpoints then all your doing is setting yourself up for a familiar outcome.

I will close with this…

“Who are you protecting if you leave now?”

And…

“What are you in fear of?”

Answer those honestly and you will have a better read on your life, as it currently stands, and the direction you want to take on your personal journey. You may find that your confusion lies within yourself and not with this gentleman.

Best Wishes!
Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

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This reply should not replace therapeutic consult by a local professional and is intended for entertainment purposes.

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Filed under Males, men, Relationships, religion, sex, women